I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
