you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Randomize
