I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
