Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize