Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Jerry, you need to find god
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
