Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
