So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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