Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize