So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
