All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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