matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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