i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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