Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
