she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
