WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
