her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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