im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
