I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
