i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Randomize
