Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
