I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
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My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
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No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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