Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
