Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
They should really pass out barf bags in church
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
