Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
