so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
