i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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