"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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