ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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