I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Be still, my beating vagina.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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