Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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