I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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