if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
