ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
