In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
