Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm going to jail i love you
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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