i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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