I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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