you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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