I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize