Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Floor bacon is actually really good
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
