we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize