maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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