I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
