i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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