i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize