how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
