Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
