Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
