so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
