I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
