Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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