You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
