found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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