Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
