so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
